how my miscarriage changed my mind

One thought on “how my miscarriage changed my mind”

  1. Katie, thank you for your eloquence, both in explaining something that can’t be explained to someone (including me) who hasn’t lived it, and in describing the nuances of helplessness (amid the desire to do everything perfectly but not being entirely sure what that is and desiring control without having it) that every element of pregnancy seemed to instill in me. I don’t think I can say I’ve ever been pro-life if it means anti-options, even though I am desperately pro-people and pro-babies and pro-taking care of those who most need it. My first pregnancy and the attendant hyperemesis (the bad nausea of the second was nothing compared to giving all the few nutrients I could keep down, plus a large portion of my own bone, muscle, and fat stores, to the baby) only made me certain that I can’t make, or countenance someone else in authority making, decisions for other people based on a generalized or limited understanding of what they might be dealing with. I desperately wanted that baby, and yet can understand why worse cases of hyperemesis (similarly, even for someone who did everything right) could make someone fear for her own life and sanity even while not being able to give the baby enough to grow, so much that she would consider needing an escape route somehow. And see, those run on sentences and unintelligible phrases trying to express my thoughts? That’s why I’m glad you write. Because you have a gift for it, and making the things that make no sense seem a little more clear. So thank you for your vulnerability and your emotion and your words. Because they are important and meaningful. *Disclaimer: The above comment is meant only to express, however inarticulately, my own views and not to pass judgment on others’ political leanings, life decisions, or medical experiences.

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